VASCULAR DEMENTIA IN THE ELDERLY: ELDER ABUSE DEFLECTED

The animal world recognizes when one of its own weakens.  Raising parakeets in captivity demonstrated to me  the perils of  becoming physically inferior, as birds were often pecked to death once they showed  the first sign of vulnerability.  Lions and cheetahs lie in wait until the weakest of the waterbuffalo herd is isolated because it can't keep up, then they attack.  Elder abuse is too familiar to us now as it makes headlines. When your loved one starts to show signs of dementia, you must increase your vigilance on their behalf.

As a person shows signs of frailty, it is not unusual to find that they attract the attention of  predators.  It's not that they seek this attention; it simply comes to them as they can't keep up and are "separated from the herd".

1)  BE AWARE, especially if the elderly person is still living alone, OF PEOPLE WHO SHOW A SUDDEN INTEREST IN THEM.  Once, while talking on the phone with my mother in the early evening after dark when she had just started to show early signs of memory loss, she had to leave the phone to answer the door.  She mentioned that it was the back door.  When she returned to the phone a few minutes later, she said it was a young man who had been in a lot of trouble with the law, and he wanted to move some things in her yard, with remuneration, of course.  She still had the judgment to refuse his offer, and he didn't come back, but it was a scary moment.
 
2) OF REPAIR SCAMS - this story could have been tragic, but actually is funny.  Mother called to tell us that she had gotten some asphalt on her driveway because a truck came to her house, which by anyone's estimate is WAY out in the country, not on the way to anywhere.   The truck, allegedly, had extra asphalt left after a restaurant in town refused the load.  (I later checked this out, and it was patently untrue).  It panicked me, and I asked what she had paid, fearing it would be thousands and that the asphalt would be inferior quality and poorly spread.  Later, when I saw it myself,  I started laughing.  It looked pretty good.   I pictured two frustrated scammers, outfoxed by an 80 something who had always squeezed pennies and who had not lost that ability, even with the advent of dementia symptoms.  The driveway had a nice coat of asphalt (that has held up well for many years), and she said the guy sure didn't want to take the amount she paid, which was well under a thousand dollars, but finally agreed to do the job for that amount.  "He acted like he wanted to cry", she said, "but I stuck to my dollar amount".

3)  DOOR TO DOOR SOLICITATION, PHONE AND MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS- This is an area that is hard to control and can be extremely frustrating. 
A person  who had taken an  unsolicited picture of mother's property from the air and wanted $100 for the picture had stopped by the house.   Penny wise, Mother talked her down to $60 and bought the picture, which really was quite good.  Definitely worth the $60, possibly the $100 the photographer didn't get.
We found in going through her mail, which my younger sister primarily took over at this juncture, numerous promises to various charity organizations.  Some were paid, but others had to be called and told that she should be taken off their list.  Magazines likewise had to be called or letters written to stop their sending bills.  She had paid some bills so many times that the magazines were paid up to five years ahead.

The three items above represent a fractional part of the ways the elderly can be taken advantage of by the lions and cheetahs of the world.  More sinister and serious abuses can take place.  Family members can help by 1)being vigilant, 2) asking questions, and 3)going through mail on a regular basis.  As long as the person remains in their own home without assistance, you may not be able to stop everything, but you may be able to mitigate the damage or prevent additional issues from developing.

DEMENTIA HINT:  Put your loved one on the "do not call" list.