VASCULAR DEMENTIA IN THE ELDERLY:I CAN DO THAT MYSELF; YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT

The following is the sixth in a series of posts based on the list of dementia symptoms published by the Agency for Health Care Policy and Research, and published in the Johns Hopkins Guide to Understanding Dementia, which is referenced on this page. Information from the Guide is in italics for clarity of origin and followed by personal observations.

BEHAVIOR Personality changes emerge. For example, the person appears more passive and less responsive than usual, or more suspicious and irritable. Visual or auditory stimuli may be misinterpreted.

Our mother's strong personality remained largely intact for many years after she began to show symptoms . When we decided to have a "meeting" and confront her about her weight loss about 4 years into the symptoms, she stood strong against us, finally striking out by telling us that we could "stand to lose a little weight" and that we were "know it alls".

It was her only way of fighting back, with her words, which she had always used to good advantage. This was the point at which we insisted on having someone come into the home to help with cooking and housecleaning. She never agreed, but her good manners took over, and she ended up enjoying the company of the caregiver very much.

The caregiving was only about two or three days a week for 4 hours each day to begin. The only other noteworthy change of behavior during this period, and it could have been due to lack of social interaction, was that she became enamored of watching a particular bird that lived in a bush in front of the house. Watching it was not what concerned us, but rather that on some days, she seemed more intent on what the bird was doing than on having a conversation. That was unusual, and for her it was uncharacteristic behavior. She always preferred people to animals.

Again, we count our blessings. She was for the most part, her old self, just unable to remember, and the less she could remember, the more dangerous it became for her. Still, we were walking a tightrope, the line held taut between the decision to leave her at home with help or move her somewhere with more oversight.

 DEMENTIA HINT: When it is time to change the environment, moving toward greater care, have a family meeting. Be firm, but kind. You cannot reason with a person who is too far down the road of dementia, but allow them to be a part of the decision as far as they can. Ultimately, you will have to do what you deem best and hope they cooperate. Installed